foolish inconsistencies

i tossed my postdoc's cells on friday....before incubating his own samples. you can add another point under jeremy's name for stupid mistakes in the lab. as if i didn't have enough already. just like the time i thought polymerase enzymes could survive at room temperature, or the time i put PCR tubes in a room temperature thermo-cycler even though i had been working on ice for the last hour.

i've always felt like my accomplishments on paper never seem to correlate with the amount of common sense i possess in real life. then again, it's not like my sense of achievement is even something to drool over. i guess that shows just how much common sense i must possess. and i guess i never understood why i can be so absent-minded, or do such stupid things without thinking beforehand.

with that in mind, i look at myself in the mirror every morning and wonder how i accomplished what ive achieved the last two years. and quite frankly, i still haven't come to a substantial answer. im not trying to compliment myself. i guess i continually impress myself with the dichotomy of foolishness and success that characterizes my lifestyle all too well.

can you believe im aiming for an MD degree from a prestigious university? just the fact that im still in the running for it must show that the Lord has some mercy on my own sanity.

today, i had the same old cliche question thrown at me again, resulting in an all-too-familiar self-propogating bout of self-introspection, only to result at the same frustrating answer. if only i accepted the fact that i cant do everything in life.