A Young Man in God's Plan - Chapter 1

I remember many of the young people's conferences were on the "young heroes" (ie. Samuel and Daniel) when I first entered high school. The statement "God always uses young people when He wants to make His move" became all too familiar. And so I read this book for the first time early in high school. It's always fun to go back on a book you read many years ago and see what new light the Lord sheds on you now that you've had an additional six years of life experience under your belt.

The word seemed so applicable at the time. I was a fourteen year old boy with a high pitched voice, and I had yet to break five feet, so the definition of young seemed to fit perfectly. I can still recall all the serving brothers telling us that our teenage years were the golden years for the Lord. Upon reading chapter 1, I examined my own age and chuckled. Suddenly the big two zero wasn't so great anymore.

"To be old means to be set, settled, and occupied. Sometimes some of the saints would refer to me as an old brother. It seems that this is a respect to me, but actually I do not like to hear this. I do not look upon myself as an old brother. I am not set, settled, and occupied. We always need to exercise to be young, to be new, to be renewed, to be fresh, and to be living all day long."

In the grand scheme of things, there is absolutely no doubt that I'm still a young man in God's plan. And I will continue to be one as long as I remain open to the Lord. I realize I have so many concepts on what is going to happen in my life, or even how the Lord is going to work through my environment in the coming years. But I'm glad to see that we need to be released from all of this. My prayer is that I would have no concepts about my future, and no preconceived notions on how the Lord is going to work through my environment. Rather, I pray that the Lord would clearly reveal His way to me, and give me the grace to follow Him.

"We need to give the Lord the way to go on in His progressive move through us. I hope that you will be a living, fresh, and new channel for the Lord to go on in His own way. This will require you to offer yourself to Him, to cooperate with Him."

Make me an open channel, Lord! Be living, fresh and new to me everyday; never grow old. Break through my nature and make me a clear channel for You. Lord, make me so willing to cooperate with Your heart's desire.

its a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord

ive been good. really. those words havent left my mouth in months. the Lord has been so good to me this semester. he came into parts of my being that i never would have expected. i feel like the lord answered all of my prayers, and he honored my prayerful and diligent spirit. the Lord loves us, and he is sovereign over all things, even when we feel otherwise. all i can say is praise the lord.

i was reading 2 samuel the other day and i came across the story of bath-sheba. the footnote noted that david committed that sin in the midst of all the victories that jehovah had given him. this shows that it is easy to fall into sin and temptation when our outward situation is working in our favor.

i feel like the lord shined on my own situation. things seem to be going well right now. and i just prayed that the Lord would guard me from any stumbling. guard me Lord, for this i pray.

i've found a friend in Jesus

i had an phenomenal experience yesterday. something was really bothering me and weighing me down. my usual reaction is to vent and to try and excavate myself out of the situation.

but today, i just stopped. something inside of me told me to stop. and i had an amazing sense of peace as my inner being said that it'd be ok. all i needed to do was to take it to the Lord in prayer the next morning. and somehow there was this amazing faith inside of me that knew everything would be ok as long as i did just that.

and so i did. ive come to realize that the Lord is the only one that can change us. sometimes i try to change myself, only to find myself glancing back with each opportunity.

when the Lord releases us, there is no looking back.

clear every avenue

the Lord needs to be the primary factor in our living. i realize i set my hope on so many other things in this world. this world is fraught with distractions.

often i find myself saying that id be happier if i had this.
but the lord convicted me tonight that he needs to be the primary factor in my life. break through my nature, mighty heavenly Love.

we often think we are virtuous before our virtue is actually tested. i mightve thought i was a patient person before i started living with the brothers. a lot of times i feel like i backslide when my own capacity runs dry. but i was touched that these failures are nothing new. its merely an open manifestation of our fallen condition. it's actually a blessing from the Lord; He's finally exposing me. and once the exposure is there, the Lord has a way to come in. The God who said "Out of darkness light shall shine" is the One that shines in our hearts to illuminate the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

this is where ill be

i remember one night i took a long walk from the campus in Berkeley to the middle of Oakland, and i felt like there was something wrong with my spiritual capacity/appetite. ive been reflecting on that since then, and ive come to realize that those kinds of thoughts are just lies from the enemy. this may sound obvious, but i realize that when i am in my spirit, the things of the Lord really do become enjoyable. sure, sometimes i am frustrated and not in the mood for it, but there are also so many other times where i feel like ive really been kissed by the Lord. and i really do enjoy the Lord on a regular basis, and i need to stand on that fact more that i stand on my negativeness. its just amazing how our mind and our thoughts are strong enough to convince us otherwise; thank God im still learning :)

anyways, i had a chance to go to msgs 3 and 4 of the thanksgiving conference and msg 3 really touched me. the topic was on how we are the testimony of jesus, and that we need to be plucked out of this evil generation. brother ron really made a plea to the young people, not to set their hope in this world, but to realize that we've been put on this earth to be the testimony of Jesus. he was so burdened that we'd realize that the church life is where we really belong, even if there may be frustrations, obstacles, and other sources of affliction. that really touched me. i feel like the Lord really gave me a song that very moment:

Sometimes there are situations,
And many frustrations,
That stumble you in subtle ways,
And nothing seems okay....

It may seem like Satan might win,
Our patience may run thing,
What we need is His supply,
In His arms we lie.

Many times we are discouraged,
Our spirit disheartened,
Just ask the Lord for everything,
To strengthen our spirit.

Put aside your opinions,
Just take Christ in as life,
Come again to the altar
For the Lord's cleansing blood

How do you want to sepnd your days?
In God's house that's the way,
Let's make wants reality,
To gain Christ corporately.

The church life is not perfect,
But it is genuine,
This is where our God dwells,
This is where I'll be.

ironically enough, fremont was going over psalm 133 this past weekend in the MR. Psalm 133:3 says "Like the dew of Hermon/ That came down upon the mountains of
Zion./ For there Jehovah commanded the blessing:/ Life forever." here, the mountains of Zion represent the local churches, where we dwell together in oneness, so we see here that this is the place where Jehovah commanded the blessing of eternal life. my mom's sharing on the Lord's day really touched me. she really emphasized that the oneness of the church is where God commanded his blessing. a lot of times we may look at the church life through our own eyes, and immediately we get frustrated and turned off. but this is something in the divine realm; whether we like it or not, this is the location of God's ordination. if we want the blessing, we need to dwell in oneness with all the saints.

i felt like there was really a response inside of me. i love the Lord on a personal level...but something inside of me always wants to remain an individual christian. brother ron gave us 8 practical ways to be the testimony of Jesus. i made an acronymn to remember them and i already forgot what half the letters stood for. but one of them was that we need to consecrate daily to the Lord, realizing that it is a narrow way and that it costs everything.

that almost made me cry. i really came before the Lord this morning...and consecrated myself to Him, and prayed that i would love the church as much as He does.